A sudden Glimpse

On the way to my place of work
I glimpsed at a poor girl sitting on the footpath.
With untidy dress and unconditoned hair,
with a stray pup in her lap.
Girl is cuddling the pup.
Pup is wagging its tails
and licking the girls face.
Both are sharing the lighter moments
and soothing each other
out of their hardened lives.
Both are rejected to road.
Both are unaware where each other came from.
Both are unaware of their destinies.
The sudden glimpse devoured all the day
and all the times I pass by the same way.

So we live...

You went into the woods to live there.

I came from the woods to die here.

You made a living for living.

I am killing myself slowly in making my living.

You wished to face the essential facts of life.

I am struggling to solve the purposeless complexities of life.

When you come to die you never want to discover that you had not lived.

When I come to die I am sure to feel the pleasure of living afterwards.

(To henry David Thoreau on his exile to "Walden Pond" to live deliberately and discover himself)

Haunted..

with hues and brush strokes I tried to unveil myself.
In the density of a painful song I tried to pacify the sick soul.
I tried to talk to Every new born flower bud and new leaf in the garden.

Every Attempt turned a cold shoulder towards me.
I lost my acquaintance with the nature, art and all I love.

I'm more or less a walking dead these days.
Everything I queer around is in a slow motion and blurred image.
I trudge aimlessly towards life.
I suspect myself as incongruous.
Dreams are drifting away.


I repeatedly ask myself

"Am I a miserable failure?"

Woods and Silence

Running away from the reality in my dreams

I am getting closer to the woods and to the silence.

birds are whispering sweetly..

walking slowly deeper into the thickets

I am feeling no fear.

eyes filled with lush green and soul filled with contentment.

I am not in search for anything there.

I want to walk unendingly into it.

I want to sit there and sing for a while.

I want to live there forever.

I dont want to think of anything.

I love to remain calm in the unabating silence.

Suddenly a ugly gaint stood in front of me.

Its pulling me forcibly by hand.

I am not willing to move...

but its hold is tough to restrain.

I looked into its eyes with mercy and pain.

But its a ruthless moron.

It dragged me to the reality.

Destroyed my beautiful dream.

But I wish to go back again and again.......

TRAPPED (haiku!!)

Its not I 'm destined for

Forgive me for coming in your way

where is the way out?

Meditation

And yet another night we walked secretly from our homes
with the weight of despair, disinterest
into the smoke laden noisy bar.
silence spread among us as we set for our meditation.
fire water flowing into our thirsting hearts,
our veins and blood and life...
secluded and aloof in the crowd.
a painful song is played slowly,

adding density to our demure hearts.
now and then smoking the cigarettes,
inhaling anguish and exhaling despair...

And we left for the night to the bed tip toed,
slipped into the blanket of weariness and dejection.

( To my friends in meditation tadi and gouse/gouse and tadi)

Torment me will you...?

Unravelling from the unending thoughts of you,
Drowning in intoxication,
Peddling away from you to the ends of the world,
Trailing in woods, crumpling your thoughts under my feet.
Still you haunt me you ruthless devil!
I am hermit in search of solitude.
Leave me alone I am certainly not from mars.
Desolate me please.

But what is this?
When I am running away from

you a part of me is running towards you.
I wonder whether it likes you or the pain.